First post of 2011 and it's almost March

Help I'm alive my heart keeps beating like a hammer... ~Metric

To those of you who noticed that I haven't blogged a *thing* in about three months, I'd like to clarify that yes... I am alive.

And to those of you who didn't notice that I haven't blogged in about three months, well good for you, it must mean you're doing a great job at keeping yourself occupied.;)

Obviously, an explanation is due to explain my (very long) absence, and I'm going to be completely honest with you when I say that the explanation part is one reason it took so long for me to come back on here. (Well, I have been reading more and commenting on other people's blogs from about two weeks now... just hadn't done anything on my own.) The more time that went by, the harder it was to get back on here and explain myself, mainly because I didn't want to sound like some weird melodramatic writer.

It's been soooo busy around here, and I'm working so hard on my work, and like, this blog just brings me down, and...

Actually, the blog doesn't bring me down, exactly... it just SLOWS me down. A LOT.

Saturday night, I thought about this as I fell asleep. I'd just finished watching The Last King of Scotland (Holy crap, people! Oh, and to my fellow James McAvoy fans: HOLY. CRAP.) and Lovemuffin was snoring away next to me, which wasn't really helping me relax. As things tend to go when you've just watched an emotional movie (and felt your heart pounding in your chest) until two in the morning, I was having a hard time winding myself down. So, naturally, a blog entry came to me.

I'm not sure what it was about that movie that inspired me to come back on here, but before I fell asleep, I thought of a couple of things.

1) Don't worry about the *insert The Twilight Zone music here* platform -- stop stressing so much that your blogs aren't GOOD ENOUGH!

2) Be yourself, remember? Just BE YOURSELF! Now refer to #1 again!

3) Stop letting the world of publishing/writing/reading control you. You used to love blogs... let them be your REWARD! (Am I the only one who immediately thought of Ursula on The Little Mermaid saying your eternal reward... Muaha-ha-ha...??)

Those three numbers above are pretty much me, in a nutshell. I tend to focus on things one at a time, before wearing them into the ground. And when I figured out that my blogging and tweeting and whathaveyou had totally and completely begun to make me stop writing because I was so focused on that stuff instead and I never had time to write, I knew I had to step back from the ol' internet for a while.

Now, I'm going to make sure coming on here is
a) a privelege -- meaning, I don't come on here until I'm DONE with my work

and

b) because I have something that I want to share -- and not because I feel like I should be on here).

And I'm going to try, really hard to remember that, though yes, you're supposed to be blogging FOR other people, I can't just let myself go. Thank you, Maggie Steifvater, for reminding me of how important it is to just BE YOURSELF. (If you haven't checked her blog out, you should. It's a breath of fresh air.)

Kay. That's enough for now. Tune in next time when I share a few tidbits about what's been happening to me the last three months. =)



6 comments:

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Welcome back, Jessica! Yes, I got to a point where blogging was a JOB and not a fun one. I backed off a bit, changed my focus, and am doing better.

James Garcia Jr said...

Hello, Snip! Thanks for posting. I'm just happy to know that you are indeed alive and well!!
Blogging can be so much fun when you are meeting people and sharing life's little twists and turns, but it can also be a giant monster that sucks the life out of everything, too. Sometimes it's tough.
Hang in there, my friend.

-Jimmy

Andi said...

You know how I feel about this. My blog is (but also was long before yours was) a vacant space and will likely continue that way until I'm done with the good stuff (masterpiece).

It's good to see you back :) I look forward to future blogs.

coffeelvnmom said...

Thanks for chiming in and welcoming me back, friends! I definitely love the social aspect of blogging, and the learning aspect too (writing wise). So now I just need to make sure my love of the internet doesn't steer me away from my love of writing!;)

Anna Zagar said...

Yep, I'm totally with you. My goal is to post a blog once a week, then visit other blogs once a week. That's all I can handle with deadlines and a full time job and hospital visits. For now, at least. Good strategy!

coffeelvnmom said...

Anna - I can't imagine how insanely busy you're going to be now (and may I just say how excited I am?). Talk about a wonderfully inspiring story... I think a blog once a week is about all I could handle too, considering what you have going on right now! =) And I do hope your mother gets better... she's in my prayers.