Getting Sharky: Next Week is #SharkWeek (a post in which I share traumatic experiences and a whole lot of shark stuff)

My first memory of sharks is being four years old at YMCA summer day camp. The counselors (high schoolers, I'm pretty sure) were shorthanded, and the kiddie movie they had scheduled for us to watch at the end of the day while we waited for our parents to come pick us up didn't work (or something). So... us little 'uns got put with the big kids in a small, dark room. And guess what movie the big (insane) kids were watching? JAWS

I cannot. I can't even. I just...

It took me years. YEARS. To get over this. I always had a pool as a kid, and I could never ever ever EVER swim in the deep end unless someone was swimming with me. I don't know which one it was (Jaws two, maybe?), but the image of one particularly dead person with stuff sticking out of his eyes and a leg being chomped off and it promptly floating through the water have stuck with me for THIRTY years. 

We go to Avila Beach at least a couple of times a year, and quite a while back, when the girls were littler, this used to be posted there:

YIKES. (Notice his name is "Whitey". Makes him sound a bit too nice, if you ask me. A kid would want to pet something named Whitey. But Killer Whitey? Not so likely.)

Over the years, we've been in Avila DURING Shark Week more than once, which has been kind of funny and at the same time, not. (Come in from the ocean, darlings! Here, let's watch some TV in the hotel room to relax! Why look at this, SHARK SHOWS! And where do sharks live? You guessed it! Right outside our hotel!!!) 'Course they still swam in it. But still.

I don't swim in the deep end anymore. I got over Jaws. And I have not told any of them about the movies because NO.

OH AND GUESS WHAT? We went to Oceano for our summer vacation early this year, on the ELEVENTH of July. Let me reiterate the town for you guys, all right? OCEANO.

And my girls kayaked and paddleboarded IN AVILA. 

Got that? AVILA. OCEANO. 

Now read THIS.


I know a lot of you are thinking that those ferocious sweet humacious little Jaws creatures sharks probably don't plan on hurting anyone and are simply innocent bystanders, and I think ya'll have lost your minds get that I do, but I choose to stay as far away as possible from them, thanks. 

Now that I've shared my own personal shark experiences, here are a few facts regarding Shark Week.**

But first, a countdown ticker!

Okay. Here goes:

* The very first Shark Week began being broadcast on July 17, 1987.

* A few years ago, Myth Busters got in on the action and had a two-hour  "Jaws Special". 

* Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs hosted in 2006. (I think he could host anything and I'd stay transfixed to the screen... his voice is phenomenal, and he's also pretty funny!) 

* I somehow missed when Craig Ferguson hosted, and that makes me sad, as he also has a phenomenal voice and is really funny! And his accent... *swoon* (Here's an intro to him hosting Shark Week, or what he calls, "The Adventure of a Lifetime". Ha.)

Time for some fun shark stuff...

With Sharknado being broadcast on the Syfy channel last week, a plethora of shark tie-ins showed up online (including this soap that uh, well, looks a little dangerous if used incorrectly). I'd say USA Today's article shines the best light on shark necessities, wouldn't you? (Especially the dog cosplay outfit. I mean, who doesn't want their pug to look vicious even cuter in this outfit?)

Perhaps acting like a shark is your thing. If so, do what we did! Buy some shark gummies and then watch the shows whilst tearing them to shreds. 

© 2012 Paper Plate Shark Jaws :: Jeanette Strole Parks

Back in grade school, I remember making a shark mouth using a paper plate like this one. This was both awesome (sharp paper teeth! RAWR!) and scary, as it made me remember my horrible Jaws experience. You can view a simple tutorial HERE.

And of course, one simply cannot watch Shark Week without wearing a shark hat. I searched a long time for the very best, most ferocious shark hats, and came up with two that I found to be most comedic and aptly designed:

This one is via ObeyMyBrain on Etsy. Click the link to find other sea creature hats just as ferocious.

Then there's this one, which I love because your head has been transformed into an entire shark, but I cannot seem to find a tutorial for (only photos of children such as this one looking mighty shark-ish).

Oh yeah. If you're like me, Pinterest is your thang. I let my fingers do the walking, and this lady's board is pretty much full of awesome if you're wanting to have any kind of shark party. Check it out.

Last, if you're unsure as to your "Alien Shark Personality" or want to find out where live sharks are right now (oh dear God, no) or want to play a game called "Shark Munch", head to this Discovery Channel page.

Now wasn't this post just shark-y? (I know I know, horrible pun.) Hope you enjoyed it. (But not my traumatic experience, because that would not be cool.)

Happy (early) Shark Week, yo! (It officially begins Sunday, August 10th.)

P.S. Shark Week is on Facebook.

P.P.S. Shark Week is on Twitter.

** A big thank you to Wikipedia for my Shark Week facts. 

No comments: