The Way to Write English

Today I'm going to share a quote by Mark Twain, mainly because I like it and have been waiting for just the right time to post it (but also because it was foggy day schedule for the girls at school and I'm two hours off schedule already).

"I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them - then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice."

~Mark Twain

He makes a few good points, no?  Happy Friday, my readers!

I'd Like to Thank the Happy Academy...

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I love the internet. Where else can you sit around dressed in your robe, pjs and unmatched socks, drinking coffee with hair looking like this

Albert Einstein by Sobibor.

and talk to a bunch of great people? Answer (drumroll please!): The internet, that's where! (And blogs in particular.) I'm sitting here typing this blog, happy as a clam...

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because I've been honored with the "Happy" award

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over at A Pre-Pub Writer's Blog. So what happens now, you ask? Well now I get to list ten things that make me happy. I mean, isn't this great? *she gushes* I couldn't be happier!

Some of the items on my list are going to be no surprise to my readers... but I hope you all enjoy reading them anyway. =)

Ten Things That Make Me Happy
(in no particular order)


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1) My husband. Because he is awesome. And spoils me. He rocks.


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2) Coffee. (who knew?)


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3) My family. When the five of us sit around the dining room table (or in the car), talking and playing jokes off each other, those are some of my favorite times. Lovemuffin and I can't believe the things that come out of our 4th, 5th and 6th grader's mouths. Definitely makes me happy. And our extended family make me happy too.

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4) Friends. Friends keep me grounded. They help me stay sane. My local friends, blogger friends, facebook friends, and even the people I follow on twitter bring a smile to my face each and every day.


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5) Writing. I'm extremely happy when I'm writing, especially when the creative juices are flowing. (Now editing is a different story. Editing does not make me happy. I haven't written enough to enjoy the delete button yet.)


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6) Movies. This one could be explained in two parts. First, my favorite movies make me happy because I *love* knowing everything about them and watching them over and over. Ask any of my closest friends and they'll tell you - I almost have a problem. I learn the behind-the-scenes info, the inside stories, the facts about the actors, and truly enjoy watching my favorite movies while the actors and director talk away on the commentaries. (I won't even go there about soundtracks this time.)

The second part about movies that makes me happy is finding new ones to love. And now that I'm writing more, when I find a movie I like (or even one I find odd) I enjoy dissecting and making a writing lesson out of it. In Summary: Me + movies = happy.

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7) Candles. Who doesn't love walking into a yummy smelling room? Makes me happy every time.


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8) Walking on the beach in the morning. That's the first thing I look forward to when we go on vacation - walking on the sand before the fog melts away and the beach is full of people, when you can still hear the waves and the birds. I can walk with my kids, walk alone, doesn't matter. It always brings a smile to my face.

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9) Sanitizer kills germs. That makes me happy. Elated. 'Nuff said.


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10) Owls. There's just something about them. As I've tweeted before, I find them owl-dorable. =)

And now for the finale of the Happy award. I get to give this award to ten more bloggers, bloggers who make me happy! Yay! Check them out - I'm sure you'll see what I like so much about these blogs! (And remember, there are many bloggers out there who make me happy, but I had to cut this down to only ten!)


Lynnette Labelle at Chatterbox Chit Chat

Tiana Lei at Spilled Ink

Jennifer Shirk at Me, My Muse, and I

Bethany Mattingly at Asperations

Susie Talbot at A Wrinkled Time

Jen Chandler at Sagewood Manor

Rebecca Knight at Writer in Progress

A. Grey at Grey Places

Debra Schubert at Write on Target



So what are you waiting for? Check 'em out! And thanks again for the Happy award, VR! =)

A Bank, a Banana, and a Little Old Lady

When I was in high school a *ahem* few years ago, I had a little "incident" not long after receiving my driver's license.  Now, before I go into detail about my *awesomeness* as a driver, I'd like to point out that I grew up in a very small town, my summer job consisted of "chopping cotton" (which actually means the exact opposite - I chopped weeds in the cotton fields eight hours a day, many times in one-hundred degree heat, thank you very much), and my dad taught me how to drive on the levees next to the cotton fields where he worked.  (Can you imagine? "Go in a straight line or we'll go into the canal!"  "Uh, okay Dad..." *grips steering wheel tightly*)  So keep in mind that I'm no city girl, and wasn't the perfect driver or anything, to say the least.  (I didn't even get my license until my senior year because I entered my last year of high school at sixteen, and well, I can't remember why else.)

I was a decent driver though.  I mean, I did get my license.  (Lovemuffin would debate this issue but hey, he's nowhere to be seen at the moment.) I was pretty careful about my driving.  I had to be.  I went to school in another town some 20 something miles away from where I lived, and though I took the country roads to get there (highways still make me panic), the traveling helped me accumulate a big amount of driving practice in a very short time.

So one day after school I had gone to the bank (which was in yet another nearby town) and was in a hurry to get somewhere - to see Lovemuffin, or get home maybe - I can't remember exactly. I still remember carrying a big, about-to-be-ripe-but-still-a-little-green-because-ripe-is-gross banana, and peeling it as I hopped back into the car after making my deposit.

I'd parked the car at the closest parking spot to the sidewalk, right next to the handicapped sign, because, as I said, I was in a hurry.  So I  looked around quickly while eating my banana, checked both sides and whatnot, and began to reverse and pull out of the parking spot.

Then, my car shook a little.  It was a new feeling, one I hadn't felt from the driver's seat before. I hit the brakes, probably a little harder than I should have.  

Uh oh....  

I craned my head to the right to see if something had mysteriously jumped in my way.  Was there a car next to me all mangled on one side because I'd reversed into it?  No.  Did I run over some stray dog or cat that just happened to be visiting the bank at the same time as me?  Oh noooo my dear readers.  This was much worse.

Next to my car was a little old lady hanging onto her car door, her walker placed directly in front of her on the asphalt.  And I mean literally hanging on to the door.  Hanging as though she was holding on for dear life.  

Being the brilliant seventeen year-old that I was, I analyzed the walker and thought, "Uh hello lady, hold on to your walker...not the car door!  What good is that going to do?" before realizing that I must have been the one who forced her to grab onto it in the first place.

I can't remember how it happened exactly, but I do know I'd somehow managed to bump into her car hard enough (her driver's side door was open) to make the door swing back and forth which, in turn, caused it to fly right back at her and knock the poor thing off her feet (therefore making her grab the first thing she could reach to save her old little lady bones from shattering all over the place when she hit the ground).  Which is why I saw a short, frail woman with gray hair (wearing one of the plastic rain hood things) ignoring her walker, and desperately clutching to a huge piece of wobbling maroon metal instead.

I felt terrible.  I chucked the banana peel onto the passenger seat and jumped out of the car. (Strange how much of the banana has stayed in my memory.) I ran over to her, and can't remember much of our conversation anymore, but I do know I apologized over and over, and moved the walker closer to the poor woman so she could be on her own two feet again.  

How I didn't see her pull up and get out of her car while I was getting in mine and backing up, I don't know (it must have been a very distracting and tasty banana).  And nothing bad came out of that little incident really.  We didn't exchange insurance information because I'd hit her car with the rubber part of my fender (??? is that the word? It's black, and goes on the back of the car thingy underneath the trunk part), so aside from a little emotional damage, we were both fine.

I learned a lesson that day though.  Always check your blind spot.  To this day, some (okay fine I'll just say it) fourteen years later, I can still remember seeing that woman's feet dangling a foot or so above the ground as she held on.

Checking for the blind spot can also apply to writing.  We all have certain aspects to the craft that we're good at - I, for example, excel in saying "just" and "that" a lot. (Okay I'm sure there's more things I'm good at but this is just the first one that came to mind.)  It's easy to edit the areas we're more sure of - to look at what we do well, see problems here and there, and fix them.  But we also need to look out for those blind spots - areas we may not realize we're having difficulty with, because those are our walkers or tools, so to speak, and in addressing the issues, the story will be better because of it. 

That's where writing groups, critiques, reviews (from whomever we ask for reviews while working on draft after draft), ect. come into play.  Sometimes writers need other people to point out the blind spots.  And not in some "Oh my gosh there's something right there - hit the break NOW! Ahhhhhhhhh! I can't watch!" sort of way, but more of a "Okay, there's a little something here, or there... check it out."  kind of way.

Keep that in mind if someone you know ever asks for your opinion.  There's nothing wrong with stating your opinion, don't get me wrong, but in my experience at least, what I really want to hear about is my blind spot.  Tell me what I missed, what threw you off.  Show me the point I where I paid less attention to my story and little too much attention to the banana.

Avoiding Loopholes

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Loopholes. Who doesn't love a good, old-fashioned loophole when it comes to getting a job done just a teeny bit faster? My kids sure do. If I tell them to deal with the trash, they'll empty the trash can but the trash strewn across the bedroom floor will remain untouched. (Or the other way around.) When I say, "Put the milk away.", I hear "I didn't use it last!" and "She got it out first!" *insert fingers pointing around the table here* instead of "Okay Mom!" (an ongoing issue in our house). If there's a way for the three of them to get out of something, to prove I didn't tell them specifically what to do (in order to get out of punishment), they"ll find it. (Hmmm. Maybe Lovemuffin and I should be saving up for law school...)

When it comes to writing, loopholes are a slippery slope - especially for young writers. (I should know. I definitely fall into the "young writer" category.) It's easy to read a book or two by a New York Times best-selling author and think, "See! They didn't follow that rule!" or "Well so-and-so didn't bother writing a hook in the opening scene so why should I? I can get around that rule somehow..." But the thing is, as many people out there in the literary world say, until you're an established writer, it's necessary to follow the rules. (I could share tons of links regarding this very topic, but to save everyone some time I'll just share this one for now, which was actually written by guest blogger, editor Victoria Mixon on Nathan Bransford's blog back in July of 2009. Victoria lists some great points regarding the plot, scene and exposition.)

For those of you who read my "I Have No Idea What I'm Doing" blog on Wednesday, this was supposed to be last Wednesday's post. Then it was going to be Friday's, but I had a bit of inspiration once Robert Downey Jr.'s voice *swoon* entered my ear canals the other night, so this post was moved to today.

Today I'm going to share five basic writing rules that I'm still trying to put into use - rules most of us already know, yet important ones nonetheless.

1.) Write for the reader. We already know the backstory, the reason each character behaves the way they do, the time of year the story begins (or ends). But the readers don't. Those facts need to be explained in your story, without boring the reader or taking away from the overall story line. Don't assume your readers know everything. Instead, assume they know nothing at all. (I think some people would debate this point, because we're also not supposed to treat our readers as though they're clueless. But there's a fine line between setting up your story line with necessary details and going over the top with too much information.)

2.) Make it worth reading. (This could actually be part of #1, but I wanted to go into more detail.) One of the worst things we can do is make our readers wonder why they're reading what we've written. Tie everything together. Each piece of the puzzle needs to fit by the end of your story, down to the smallest of details. (I've been called out on this one myself.) Does the fact that your main character wears only red socks have a bigger part in the overall story? If so, tie in it throughout - explain the reason behind his/her obsession with red socks. If not, maybe that part should be cut.

3.) Consistency is key. Is your character scared of being in a crowd? Then why is she dancing her feet off at a club two pages after freaking out that people were looking at her in the grocery store? Stay consistent to keep your readers hooked. Things that don't make sense or conflict with a part you wrote earlier will turn the reader off. You want them to keep turning pages, not close the book and set it down somewhere, never to be opened again.

4.) Pay attention to the flow. It's important to keep your flow nice and interesting, not so much because otherwise it's boring otherwise, but because nothing is worse than making a reader go back; and, not understanding or remembering what they just read, have to read it again because the sentence is so wordy that they already forgot what the heck you were talking about, don't you think? Long, confusing sentences or paragraphs are my pet peeve. I can't tell you how many times I've had to turn back a page and start a paragraph over, or read a passage more than once because the flow just isn't there. Make sure not to trip up your readers - getting confused during an important part of the story is an event they won't soon forget.

5.) Stay true to yourself. Don't let the stress of following rules stifle your writing voice. Regardless of the many guidelines we need to follow, our stories should still sound like us. We leave a little thumbprint on everything we write, a signature on our work that tells people "I wrote this - this is my style, my point of view, the way I chose to share my story." The story you tell gives the reader a glimpse of who you are - that's what makes you different from everyone else out there.

I'll leave you with a true, yet comical version of common rules for writing. I'm sure some of you have seen this before, but I wanted to share it anyway.


Happy Monday, my readers!



Your Character's Voice: Is it deep? Scratchy? Maybe a little sultry?

I was sitting at my computer last night, messing around on the ol' facebook, when a man's voice blared from the bedroom.

"Who is that?" I yelled to Lovemuffin. "I love his voice!"


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It was Robert Downey Jr., one of my favorite actors. No wonder I loved the voice! (I'm not sure what it is, but there's something about a man's deep voice that makes me swoon. I've been that way since high school, about *mumble* *cough* *cough* years ago.)

Hearing Robert Downey Jr. on the television in the other room made me wonder. What exactly was my main character's voice? I'd never thought much about it. It's one of those things I take for granted, I suppose - I write as her mainly, so I automatically hear her voice as my own. (For those of you yet to hear me, I have no clue what to tell you 'bout that one. Anyone wanna help me out with that?)

The men are a totally different story, however. I hear their voices all of the time. My protagonist's husband sounds like a mix between Bruce Willis

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and

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Gerard Butler. (His American accent, not his actual one. Though I do love me some European accents... but all of my characters are from the US, so that won't work this time around, at least!)


Another male character who takes up a decent amount of pages on his own in I'll Love You Until sounds pretty close to Ryan Gosling.

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I'll save a few of my female characters for another post sometime in the near future - one of them being the town gossip! (I bet everyone has a specific voice come to mind for that one!)

So who do your protagonists or antagonists sound like? Are they voices of famous people? Relatives? Your neighbors when you were a kid? How do you hear them as you write dialogue or what's going through their heads?

I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

I have a confession to make.  I'm clueless.  No really.  I have no idea what I'm doing.  I've spent the past seven months reading everything I can find all over the internet and in books about the writing process - and yet there's still so much I don't know.

People in the blogosphere (I didn't realize that was actually a word - but yep!  My spell check confirms it is so) go on and on about how to do this and that regarding writing, finding an agent, or getting published, and I wanted to be one of those people. But what the heck do I know?  Not a whole lot.  I know more than I did not that long ago, and am learning at a pace slightly faster than the average snail, I do know that.  (Not very inspiring, am I?  Imagine how I feel!)

My plan for today's post was to answer a few questions regarding issues many "new" writers seem to have (I use the term " new writers" loosely because there are so many definitions to that word) - questions I had myself at the beginning.  The "What does this mean?"  "Where do I learn about that?" kinds of questions.

But I've changed my mind.  That's now being pushed to Friday.  And even then, links are going to be my main resource - because I really don't have the proper expertise in the writing field just yet to be acting like I know what I'm talking about.  

There are many people out there who do know what they're talking about though.  Take Susan Shapiro, for instance.  She has much to say about "How to Get Great Writing Gurus of Your Own" on The Nervous Breakdown, and I'm going to be all over that site like rats on peanut butter (sorry, unless you've seen the movie Wanted, one of my favorite movies at the moment, you're going to have no clue what I'm talking about) from now on.  A writer friend of mine, one of the few local writers I've met these past six months in fact, turned me on to this new (new to me, not new to the web - at least I don't think it's very new - I'm not sure - I'm new there) writer's website, and I love it.

So until Friday, my readers, enjoy that link...and keep doing what we all love doing the most - writing!


The Query Bandwagon

Saturday night as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, I fell off the bandwagon. I don't know where it came from, but out of the blue, with no warning whatsoever, I began to panic. My heart was racing. I tried to be inconspicuous as possible, and squeezed my eyes shut trying to calm myself down, even though it felt as though I could barely breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Queries. Queries! QUERIES!!!

It was time to query! (Panic!) I was at the next stage of the game, the part where writing my query was in order. (Or polishing it to perfection, rather.) I guess for some reason my brain just hadn't put two and two together yet. Writing query + querying agent = possible rejection. (REJECTION!) Duh. Yep... that's how the process works.

It was as though I'd already been defeated - because I was lying there, assuming to be the stereotypical writer who sent query after query and received rejection after rejection. I very well may be that person, in fact. But my point is, how in the world was I to know that yet, at 1:00 in the morning, lying there in my bed on a Saturday night (or yes, technically Sunday morning)?

I spent a few hours researching agents yesterday. First I went over the ones I'd found a few months ago. At the time I'd searched for days - going through books, perusing the internet, ect. to make sure I'd found just the right people to query. But at that point I wasn't where I truly needed to be with the WiP, so I'd stuffed everything away into a folder and went back to editing.

When I sat down to my folder, a few of the agents I'd found months ago were still fresh in my mind. They went in the "First Query" pile. (Ten agents is all I'm going to attempt for my first time. I don't want to sit around knowing there are tons of them floating around in cyberspace waiting to be read, possibly read and rejected already, or I'll be freaking out for months.) After a few hours, counting a few I'd found already and the new ones I'd jotted down to look up, I finally had nine agents in my "First Query" pile. I just needed one more - the one, incidentally, that I'd been trying to find the most.

A few specific authors have reminded me of myself in ways. One in particular reminded me of myself a bit too much. I kept pointing out similarities between that book and mine to Lovemuffin as I read it. The first time I pointed something out, he laughed. "Ohhh no." That was his reaction. Like "Oh great, that sucks for your sanity." The second time - "You aren't changing it!" - his voice a few decibels louder. (Basically what he always says when that frantic look spreads across my face which, loosely translated means, "Heck no you are not changing it. I've dealt with this crazy woman in my house for over 6 months now. I've been as supportive as I know how, and I'm about to tell her to find a new place to live - and will for sure if she thinks she is going to change that book one more time"!) Then a few hours after I had taken a break at agent number 9, coming across the closest thing to my WiP yet he says - "You're always going to find some similarities!" (I imagine him looking like Charlie Brown yelling that as I type this, but in reality, he didn't really yell with his arms shoved down to his sides and his hands bunched into fists. And he was right, what he said was true. But I didn't want to hear that. I'm not sure what I wanted to hear, actually.)

"But... listen to this!" I yelled as he shook his head and walked out of our bedroom. I read two separate sentences, within a few paragraphs of each other. He didn't respond. (Which, I'm thinking, was probably the best thing he could have done, for his own sake.)

A few hours later I went back to looking for agents again. The author of that one book, the one I'd been searching all over the stinkin' internet to figure out the agent for, the one that I'd waved in Lovemuffin's face a few hours earlier in fact - that information was still eluding me. It was driving me crazy. I cursed Google. I cursed Wikipedia. I cursed authors for not listing their agents' names on their websites. How dare they. Didn't they know they were making it harder on me? I mean really.

I logged into the site I'd begun using to track queries and decided, what the hey. I'll just type in Women's Fiction, and see what happens. Well... three hundred agents happened. Some accepting queries, some not. Men, women, agencies I'd never even heard of. Eight pages of agents who, at one point, were either currently or recently receiving queries of women's fiction.

I stared at the pages. Where do you start? Click on the first one and go down the line, researching? (That sounds obvious, doesn't it? But I was trying to find a method for my madness, I guess.) I read about thirty agents' names, their agencies. Then I just clicked on one. A random link, random name. Neither meant a thing to me. And get this. Not only was it the agency representing the book I'd been going crazy looking for, but an agency that represented THREE authors I was familiar with (that particular one included).

Was it an omen? Did the sky open up and a lightning bolt came through my ceiling along with a deep voice saying "You shall now query this agent!"? No. But I can't tell you the relief I felt. That urgent, pressing, you're-running-out-of-time-fast feeling I'd had since Saturday night, was gone. Boom. Just like that.

I'm not clueless or naive enough to think that finding that specific literary agency/agency meant they'll eventually represent me. But after finding my number ten, I feel ready to take the next step. Who knows what will happen next - but for now, at this moment at least, I feel peace.  I'm back - nice and comfy, legs crossed, with my hands locked and resting behind my head - relaxing on the Query Bandwagon.