What jealousy really means

There's this feeling called jealousy--maybe you've heard of it. If not, let me give you a little description: Jealousy wreaks havoc on your body. It makes your heart hurt, your head throb, causes you to get TMJ, not be able to sleep, and makes you drive your nails into your palms until you have two sets of mini-craters.

Jealousy makes you overanalyze your work, try too hard; it can turn you into a very judgmental (and sometimes arrogant) person, or do the exact opposite and make you hate everything about yourself that, at one point, you used to love. But most of all, jealously makes you lose site of what's important.

Not long ago, YA author Leigh Ann Kopans shared a post about jealousy, and it got me thinking. This jealousy is something I know a lot about, considering I've been writing for 4+ years now and have received, I'd say, more than 150 rejections/no responses from agents/publishers (for three separate books--mind you, I'm not saying that they were all perfect).

I agree with a lot of Leigh's points, including truly being happy for other writers when they announce signing agents and/or deals (while at the same time wishing the same thing for myself). But there's a few things that came to me as I read, and I felt they were necessary to mention.

1) For those of you who read my blog regularly, you know that Lovemuffin was very sick a while back, and a few things changed for us personally afterwards. My relationship with the Lord grew immensely as He showed me more about His true heart, and who we are in Him, to our Heavenly Father.

As a result of that, He's opened my eyes to a lot of things, one being that when He opens a door, no one can shut it. I used to think I had to do everything on my own. It's a pretty popular mentality: If I don't do it, no one will. But the problem is, that mentality makes you rely on your own effort... which can end up being a problem.

For one, you look at other people's journeys and try to mold their steps/happenstances into your own in order to achieve the same thing. But each of us has a completely different story, and He has written a unique plan for us as well. We are meant to touch different people, to rub against different people, to move and learn and brush off on different people as they brush off on us. We can't look at anyone else's writing/publication (or any other kind of) journey and expect it to be our own, any more than we can look at one person's diet/workouts and expect the same results.

Another reason that thought process gets in the way is we depend on man to work when Someone much higher and more powerful can change things for our favor instantaneously.

Knowing that simple truth gives you the power to work and not worry about what is going to happen in the future. Knowing He wants what's best for you and has a plan for what's been put on your heart gives you the desire to continue.

2) I recently heard a sermon where the pastor made a comment about jealousy. He said that, when we get jealous, what we are really saying is that we think God doesn't have enough power/smarts/ability/ect. to make all of us prosper.

At first, that comment bounced right off me, but as I thought about it for a while, I realized he was so right. When we get jealous about someone "making it", what we're really thinking is "That's not fair--I wish it were me."

There's nothing wrong with wanting something for our lives--having the desire to show what we've accomplished. But knowing Who helped you accomplish it makes a big difference in it getting accomplished.

Here's the thing. Like I mentioned above, in thinking

"that's not fair--I wish it were me who had insert item here" (this could be a book deal, a promotion, a new house, a new car, a child, and on and on and on)

we are inadvertently saying

if they have it, then there's no way that I can. They already got it. It is no longer available. 

And that is not true.

There are tons of positions, there are tons of agents, there are tons of publishers, there are tons of friends, there are tons of cars, and I am convinced you could apply any situation you are in to this sentence and the same would be true. Problem is, we see things a specific way. Here's an example of what I'm trying to say:

A guy and his son go out to a park near their home, and stand at the edge of a little, man-made lake.

The son says to his dad, "I like this place. It's beautiful and wild and calm and fun and blue."

The dad looks out over water, at the ducks paddling around in it, at the movement their webbed feet cause, the waves rolling over the dirt embankment, at the trash floating nearby. He sees where the grass has died due to dogs peeing, and notices a lone shoe sitting in a patch of mud that a child must have left accidentally.

Though the park looks dirty, he doesn't think it looks sad enough to be considered blue.

"What do you see that is blue?" he asks his little boy.

This is his son's answer:

"The sky, Dad. The sky above the water--it's blue, it's calm, it's beautiful. The sky beyond the lake, off near our house--see the clouds shaped like cotton candy? It's fun, 'specially that one right there that looks like a cowboy on a wild adventure."

The dad looks out across the lake and realizes he'd missed so much... he didn't see the airplane flying above their house, he didn't notice the pack of girls sitting on a blanket off to the west near the teeter-totters, laughing. He didn't see the couple on bench on at the other end of the lake, holding hands. And he didn't see that when you look at something, you can look right at it and expect what you see to be all there is available; or you can choose to look at the whole picture and beyond, knowing there are many things your eyes have yet to notice.

That's how He works. He sees the whole picture. We try out for jobs, for positions, for agents (or whatever), thinking this is the only way things can happen. The reality of it all though, is that His plan may have you submitting to so-and-so, yes, but then they may know someone who sees something and tells someone and six months down the road you get a call that you never expected from someone you'd never heard of. (No, this didn't happen to me.)

Bottom line to this entirely too-long post? He is able to do everything. And, He is willing. His plan may seem to take longer than you want, but, ultimately, it's constructed better than you ever could have attempted for it to be. So when you get down because someone else appears to be receiving blessings you've been wanting, and start to hear that voice in your head that makes you think it's not possible for you or you need to do this or that (thereby losing sight of the reason you had the desire for it in the first place), remind yourself who's really in charge. Take a step back, take a deep breath, and say,

 This can be mine, too.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Be blessed,

Jessica

Writers and genre pigeonholes

Considering the fact that a few short days ago I'd stated we were going to go over dealing with being stuck in specific genres as writers, I was excited when a rather timely article appeared yesterday on Flavorwire titled, 10 Great Authors We Should All Stop Pigeonholing. In the article, Ms. Temple highlights ten authors whom most readers and writers alike are very familiar with (including Ray Bradberry, Jack London, and C.S. Lewis).  She points out that though we have labeled them in our minds and in the marketplace (some for many decades), all ten writers could have (and did/do) write/sell work in other genres.

I looked up the word "pigeonhole", just to see what kind of definition would come up. Oxford's online  dictionary actually uses a writer as one of its examples:

verb

[with object]

• 1assign to a particular category, typically an overly restrictive one:I was pigeonholed as a ‘youth writer’

• 2put (a document) in a pigeonhole:he pigeonholed his charts and notes
• put aside for future consideration:she pigeonholed her worry about him

Notice how the category is described? ...typically an overly restrictive one. I guess in a way, it's nice to know that this problem isn't new--writers have been dealing with the lack of categorical freedom for a long time. (Because in the long run--and the short run, too--it's all about the way to make the most profit. And not necessarily for the author.) That doesn't exactly make it any easier, however. Does it? I came across a few articles while going over this, and thought I'd share two.

First, quite a while back I watched a documentary on type-casting. The director featured famous actors--some who had been stuck in the same stereotypical role for a long time, and others who'd been able to step over that "pigeonhole labeling" category and move on to something different (and many times, even better). Now, I can't remember many of the actors anymore (it really has a been a while since I watched it), but I'll never forget this guy:


(picture courtesy of Todd Wilson/ IMDB)

Recognize him? His name is Stephen Tobolowsky. More often than not, he's played quirky, awkward characters who never had a chance at much of a social life.

The documentary pointed out that though Mr. Tobolowsky was a great actor, he had definitely been type-cast, and that action wasn't an easy thing for him to reverse. Some of you may not know Mr. Tobolowsky's face, but he has a very distinct voice. And things have obviously changed over the past few years, because he is now the voice of the Discover Card's 5% cashback commercials. Doesn't sound awkward at all in those commercials to me! You go, Mr. Tobolowsky!

So see, no one is doomed to be type-cast forever! Same goes for writing. The problem is, we writers usually don't get to make that choice.

Back in September, author Dan Thompson posted a blog titled "Avoiding the Genre Trap"  on his blog, Making It Up As I Go. He specifically talks "the literary equivalent of type-casting". The part that really stood out to me is below:

One author described how his advances became something of a trap, because he felt he could no longer afford to branch out and try a different genre or experiment with some of his stranger ideas. While it might make a fabulous novel, even a commercially successful one, he knew he could never sell something that different on a proposal. So he stuck with what he knew, living from one advance to the next.

Most of all that, of course, is second or third hand information, but I confess that this is one of the things that pushed me towards self-publishing. I did not want to find myself in the position of writing a particular book simply because it was a lot like the last one. That’s hardly the only reason I went that way, but it did enter into my thinking.

This is exactly what so many authors are stuck with, worrying about, or trying to determine whether or not they want to push through on their own without the help of a traditional publisher. It's kind of the same problem I am having--PITY ISN'T AN OPTION is dystopian, technically, and yet agents have specifically told me that it is "not dystopian enough". Here's the deal, though. I do not want to make it any more dystopian. Therefore, we're at an impasse... because unless the entire storyline changes (taking away from the whole point of it in the first place), PITY has to stay like it is. (Am I holding anything against these agents for their comments? No. It's not their fault the market is labeled so black and white, nor is it their fault that I'm just another anonymous person out in the writerly world trying to get my book into people's hearts.)

So it looks as though more and more writers are going to go self-pub. To think that writing one way actually inhibits you to write another later on is strange. To think that writing what you love makes it difficult to share is just plain sad.

Funny how, even five years ago, this was more faux pas than it is now. Funny how, in a few short weeks, you can go from editing the last draft of your manuscript to publishing it on a website, and boom.... There it is for all to digitally purchase and read. Funny how agents and (famous) writers alike like to say, don't worry about a specific genre or if it's insanely marketable, "write what you love!" (There are articles all over the internet but one example is here.*)  Then, they immediately tell you "Hey, yeah... I can't market this."

Okay, so it's really not that funny.

Way back when, people thought self-publishing was a curse. Interesting how now, writers all over the world consider it a blessing. (As do readers lately, it seems). Things are a-changing, my friends.

Consider what agent Sara Megibow, from Nelson Literary Agency, tweeted yesterday: If publishing becomes more like music (possible) then there will be a few HUGELY commercially successful authors (both trad and self pub)...

See, now, I'm fine with that. I think *most* writers who are struggling to get their work under readers' noses would be fine with that, too! The whole point of getting through the drafts and the words and the love and the angst of writing isn't to stuff it under a box and walk away, it's to allow others the gift of seeing the end of your journey!

So, friends, what is your take on all this? Would you 

a) write FOR the market, and in doing so, label your work a specific genre in order to have a higher chance of getting it to go somewhere (and/or even completely revise your work to have more of a chance at traditional publishing), 

b) write for your HEART, and then after all is said and edited, go about trying to squeeze it into one genre

or 

c) try to do a little bit of both?

And if the genre label/type-cast/pigeonhole wasn't working for you, would you rewrite it all, or lean toward self-publishing in order to keep your story true?

I would love to see your responses (along with examples of genres people have used/bent themselves that aren't particularly traditional) below!

Jessica

*I am in no way dogging this agent or her response to the question or her opinion on the matter... just showing one quick example of advice offered all over the interwebs from the literary world. 

WRITEONCON + tea & crumpets

First, I'd like to announce to those who have been busy doing, you know, important stuff (and not stalking people on twitter, like, well, someone we know) that the dates for this year's WRITEONCON (AKA, the most awesome dates in the universe) have been released, and I'm quite the excited crumpet. (Odd word choice, I know, but I had to tie both parts of this post in somehow!) I'm pretty sure the kids will be at school and I'll actually be able to participate. So... yay! Anyway. It's August 16-18th. Make sure and mark ya calendahs, ya'll.

Second, and this kind of goes with the theme of WRITEONCON since there are so many awesome agent contests going on over there, I'd like to know what everyone envisions their dream agents doing on a daily basis. Personally, I see the ladies wearing lace gloves (and for some reason, some of them are also wearing corsets), sitting around their desks (which have been specifically placed to where everyone can see each other -- not sure why this is, but I imagine them all in one big room), and sipping on tea. Kind like this...

...but with tea, and crumpets. And they're sitting at desks. Not outside.*

And somehow, with all of this very old stuff going on (the corsets, lace gloves and whatnot), they still have their computers propped in front of them on their desks. Most of the lady agents are reading queries from their emails, but a few are completely engrossed in paper partials and fulls.

Then, the clock chimes that it's ten o'clock, everyone stops what they're doing, and the main, owner agent lady leaves for a moment. When she returns, she's holding an old, silver platter, and she says, "Tea? Crumpets, anyone?"

The rest of the agents smile politely, and nod -- some of them even say "Why yes, Main Owner Agent Lady, thank you, so much." (Mind you, this is all being done in some sort of accent -- preferably an English one.)

So everyone sips on their tea (pinkies raised, of course) whilst discussing their exciting secret double lives (secret agents of the governmental sort, food critics, authors themselves, people who crash cars and rate how safe they are, you know, that sort of stuff) and ultimately, their very strongly accented conversation gets around to the queries they've received that morning.

And they laugh, "eh-heh-heh" and "ooh-hoo-hoo"**, careful to keep their mouths closed so as not to spit out tea or crumpets on their computers or papers because, well, that would be a disaster, not to mention quite unladylike, then dab at their mouths with little hankies, having a quaint time listening to people's ideas and query faux pas. (Not in a mean way, just a... whimsical way.)

And that's what I see them doing. Allllll day. Talking, laughing, drinking tea, and eating crumpets. I'm not sure how this got into my head, because I know that's not even remotely close to how it actually is. I know there are male agents (heck, I've queried/am querying male agents!), but for some reason, I can't get the parasols (I forgot to mention those, didn't I?) and tea and crumpets out of my head.

How 'bout you? How do you envision the agents' daily lives? And are you as excited as I am about WRITEONCON??? =)

Currently inspired by: Hockey - Too Fake

*Incidentally, this book is on my TBR list.

** My try at writing quiet, practically closed-mouth ladylike-laughing was quite laughable itself.

And they lived happily ever after - The Synopsis

Or maybe "... and they didn't speak to each other for the rest of their lives."  How about, "... then his nemesis died a long and fiery death."  

I'm working on ILYU's synopsis.  You actually get to explain what happens in the entire novel with a synopsis, including the ending (yay!), which I've found is much easier than writing a query.  Especially compared to the email/shortest version of query.  Can you imagine if agents required us to text, or worse yet, tweet our queries?  Oh the stress us writers would be put through!  (If for some odd reason this small blog is ever seen by an agent, please, I repeat, please do not even ponder for a second the possibility of that idea!)  

I think each writer has a different opinion about a query vs. a synopsis.  The main reason I love it the latter is because you're allowed words. WORDS!  More than a mere few hundred of them to explain this thing, this chunk of your life that has consumed more thoughts than you ever imagined were possible to come up with.  I'm a big fan of words, and tend to go far beyond what I plan to write, even when blogging.  Summarizing 70,ooo-some pages is hard.  I love to throw in the "good" details.  So being able to explain the entire plot, for me, is a wonderful thing.

Some agents request a synopsis.  Others don't.  My next batch of agents to query require that I send both.  Now this could be my naiveness talking, but being able to send the synopsis along with a query actually gives me a little comfort.  It's my opportunity to share more about ILYU, to highlight the conflict and make it shine.  (We'll see if I still feel that way in a few days, when I'm closer to finishing.)

Here's a description of a synopsis, according to an article I found on this website- A successful synopsis is not a short story version of your book nor or a piece of creative writing. It is a business document.

The article goes on to summarize the key points to writing a synopsis.  I liked how it was broken down, and thought I'd share it with you.

1) Characters: Some People Count, Some Don't.

This list must be kept to the bare essentials.  So and so's brother's wife's old neighbor's ex-husband isn't necessary to mention, unless he plays a major part in the story.

2)  Plot: Just the Facts, Ma'am.

Think of this as the key ingredients to your story.  Descriptions of feelings and how people look don't go here.  The only thing necessary is just what this title says, the plot.  Keep the story moving, keep the agents reading.

3)  Conflict: Show how the Characters Suffer

Ah.  The most exciting part to write.  Actions, reactions.  What did that particular event make the character/s do?  Did anyone learn anything from that event?  Did it make them better, or worse, in the long run?

4)  Description: The Devil is in the Details

The best line in this advice in this paragraph is "... search the synopsis for adjectives and adverbs and then cut almost all of them."  Yeah.  This will be my weakness.  

5)  Show and Tell

I'm reminded of what I blogged about a while back, when I was having a hard time writing the beginning of ILYU.   My MC was supposed to be telling what happened, and I had to stop and look at it from the point of view of being the listener, sitting somewhere as Hallie told her story.  That's exactly what you're supposed to do.  Tell what went down, simply.  Hold back on a bunch of descriptions.  

For more information on synopsis do's and don'ts, check out these links:

Bookends, LLC

Fiction Factor

Writing World.com

Nathan Bransford's How to Write a Synopsis

Rebecca Knight: Writer in Progress (I had no clue she posted about this yesterday until I had already written this post.  Great minds think alike!)

There are many more sites with great info.  Do a quick search.  Google can be your best friend.

  

Query about a query

Today's post is going to be a short one.  I've sent three email queries thus far, (with a few more to go out later in the week) and one has already resulted in a very polite email from the agent stating that her plate is full at this present time.

I don't have time to look for the *many* links I have saved regarding sending multiple submissions (to more than one agent in the same agency) but I'm going to act as though my mind is functioning properly and assume I did read that if said agent isn't presently able to receive queries, then sending one to a different agent at the same agency is okay.  Right?

Has anyone had this happen to them?  If so, what did you do?

The Query Bandwagon

Saturday night as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, I fell off the bandwagon. I don't know where it came from, but out of the blue, with no warning whatsoever, I began to panic. My heart was racing. I tried to be inconspicuous as possible, and squeezed my eyes shut trying to calm myself down, even though it felt as though I could barely breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Queries. Queries! QUERIES!!!

It was time to query! (Panic!) I was at the next stage of the game, the part where writing my query was in order. (Or polishing it to perfection, rather.) I guess for some reason my brain just hadn't put two and two together yet. Writing query + querying agent = possible rejection. (REJECTION!) Duh. Yep... that's how the process works.

It was as though I'd already been defeated - because I was lying there, assuming to be the stereotypical writer who sent query after query and received rejection after rejection. I very well may be that person, in fact. But my point is, how in the world was I to know that yet, at 1:00 in the morning, lying there in my bed on a Saturday night (or yes, technically Sunday morning)?

I spent a few hours researching agents yesterday. First I went over the ones I'd found a few months ago. At the time I'd searched for days - going through books, perusing the internet, ect. to make sure I'd found just the right people to query. But at that point I wasn't where I truly needed to be with the WiP, so I'd stuffed everything away into a folder and went back to editing.

When I sat down to my folder, a few of the agents I'd found months ago were still fresh in my mind. They went in the "First Query" pile. (Ten agents is all I'm going to attempt for my first time. I don't want to sit around knowing there are tons of them floating around in cyberspace waiting to be read, possibly read and rejected already, or I'll be freaking out for months.) After a few hours, counting a few I'd found already and the new ones I'd jotted down to look up, I finally had nine agents in my "First Query" pile. I just needed one more - the one, incidentally, that I'd been trying to find the most.

A few specific authors have reminded me of myself in ways. One in particular reminded me of myself a bit too much. I kept pointing out similarities between that book and mine to Lovemuffin as I read it. The first time I pointed something out, he laughed. "Ohhh no." That was his reaction. Like "Oh great, that sucks for your sanity." The second time - "You aren't changing it!" - his voice a few decibels louder. (Basically what he always says when that frantic look spreads across my face which, loosely translated means, "Heck no you are not changing it. I've dealt with this crazy woman in my house for over 6 months now. I've been as supportive as I know how, and I'm about to tell her to find a new place to live - and will for sure if she thinks she is going to change that book one more time"!) Then a few hours after I had taken a break at agent number 9, coming across the closest thing to my WiP yet he says - "You're always going to find some similarities!" (I imagine him looking like Charlie Brown yelling that as I type this, but in reality, he didn't really yell with his arms shoved down to his sides and his hands bunched into fists. And he was right, what he said was true. But I didn't want to hear that. I'm not sure what I wanted to hear, actually.)

"But... listen to this!" I yelled as he shook his head and walked out of our bedroom. I read two separate sentences, within a few paragraphs of each other. He didn't respond. (Which, I'm thinking, was probably the best thing he could have done, for his own sake.)

A few hours later I went back to looking for agents again. The author of that one book, the one I'd been searching all over the stinkin' internet to figure out the agent for, the one that I'd waved in Lovemuffin's face a few hours earlier in fact - that information was still eluding me. It was driving me crazy. I cursed Google. I cursed Wikipedia. I cursed authors for not listing their agents' names on their websites. How dare they. Didn't they know they were making it harder on me? I mean really.

I logged into the site I'd begun using to track queries and decided, what the hey. I'll just type in Women's Fiction, and see what happens. Well... three hundred agents happened. Some accepting queries, some not. Men, women, agencies I'd never even heard of. Eight pages of agents who, at one point, were either currently or recently receiving queries of women's fiction.

I stared at the pages. Where do you start? Click on the first one and go down the line, researching? (That sounds obvious, doesn't it? But I was trying to find a method for my madness, I guess.) I read about thirty agents' names, their agencies. Then I just clicked on one. A random link, random name. Neither meant a thing to me. And get this. Not only was it the agency representing the book I'd been going crazy looking for, but an agency that represented THREE authors I was familiar with (that particular one included).

Was it an omen? Did the sky open up and a lightning bolt came through my ceiling along with a deep voice saying "You shall now query this agent!"? No. But I can't tell you the relief I felt. That urgent, pressing, you're-running-out-of-time-fast feeling I'd had since Saturday night, was gone. Boom. Just like that.

I'm not clueless or naive enough to think that finding that specific literary agency/agency meant they'll eventually represent me. But after finding my number ten, I feel ready to take the next step. Who knows what will happen next - but for now, at this moment at least, I feel peace.  I'm back - nice and comfy, legs crossed, with my hands locked and resting behind my head - relaxing on the Query Bandwagon.