Anxiety. Germs. Happy Wednesday?

Coffee. Anxiety. The flu.

What do these all have in common? Honestly, I don't have a clue. Now, I'm fibbing a bit here -- the coffee has to do with me, that's a given, you all know how I am. But the other two? Me = Stumped. I'm still scratching my head.

My youngest (almost ten) has been dealing with anxiety for years now. Luckily for all of us (her especially), it's not one of those on a daily basis kind of things. Change is the biggest problem, hence the issues right now. Changing classes, having new teachers -- it always throws her for a loop.

So being the *awesome* parental unit that I am, I've pretty must lost it over the past twenty four hours. Because while she's been exhibiting anxious tendencies since last week, this morning she also came down with the flu. (Enter parents feeling totally and absolutely terrible, here.)

Not that we believed her. Oh no. She was going to school gosh darnit, and she was going to be sick there too, if she had to. We've had to get tough about it. Put our feet down. Give her an inch, she'll take 5,280 feet.

Even when I got the call that she'd been sick, I thought it was the anxiety. And I should have, shouldn't I? She'd been complaining of stomach issues, begging not to go to school, since last week. Telling us everything she could think of (most of which didn't seem anxious-worthy, and I'm not saying this as a spineless mother, but as someone who knows what usually upsets her, kind of) to get out of going.

And now, I owe the school office and her classroom a bazillion bottles of Lysol, and at least that much hand sanitizer, too. Because the kid. Has. The flu. And boy did I feel guilty. Not only because I sent her to school like that (with no fever, I'd like to point out), but because who knows where she laid her germy little fingers for the three hours before I brought her home. Germs are my nemesis, people. I live on sanitizer. I even pour it into my coffee. (No, not really.)

The reason for this post? Uh, mainly, I guess it's because I feel a bit out of control. And dumb. Yes dumb too, for sure. And frustrated. Because it's hard, you know, to try to do what's best for your kid, when they're crying for days, and you're ready to cry for days, and no one really knows what to do. And you have this deadline you've set, and your house is a mess, and your kids are tired of hearing their sister cry, and the homework, and the dishes, and your dog has three tumors the size of tangerines and you still can't take her to the vet...

Well. Thanks for that. I feel a little bit better. Happy (ish) Wednesday. Oh and Thursdays with Snip is tomorrow. Prepare to be informed.


Sierra Godfrey said...

Ah. sorry to hear this. I guess no matter how much we think we have things under control, we really don't. The way you describe, I would have chalked it up to new school year anxiety too! No need to feel bad about way to know.

Jessica L. Brooks (coffeelvnmom) said...

Thanks, Sierra. Great to have a non-biased opinion!

Lila Swann said...

I don't think the two are necessarily unrelated. Whenever I get really anxious about something (first day of school, whatever), I always make myself sick out of nerves.

My first AP exam, I came home with the flu because I had literally worried and stressed myself to death over it. I've come down with some sort of illness every single first day of school for the last 4 years now.

I don't think the two are entirely unrelated. Stress and worry brings down an immune system and makes one's body more likely to fall prey to illnesses!

Good Mommy award for you. :)

Robyn Bavati said...

I commiserate, I really do. As a mother of three, I can totally identify... Just want to warn you, though, that there'll come a time (probably sooner than you expect) that your kids won't want you blogging about their personal lives. When they're really little, talking about them feels like talking about ourselves, but there comes a time when that's no longer the case and they want their privacy. Hope you don't mind my putting in my two cents worth... Just something to think about.

Jessica L. Brooks (coffeelvnmom) said...

Lila, I appreciate hearing your take on it, considering you understand the whole anxiety thing. It's something you prepare for, but can't really do much about, you know? So frustrating.

Robyn, I don't mind you putting in your opinion. I don't blog about my kids much, especially not the oldest (she's 12 1/2). I don't really know what else to say, other than that I would never share something if I thought it would hurt them in any way. Also, I don't blog about them a lot, because I think it would bore my readers, honestly. (I could go on defending myself here, but I don't really see the point in that. ;) ) Have a good day!

DL Hammons said...

All I got to offer you is this virtual (((HUG))) and the promise that you'll climb back on top of that wave soon. :)