Friday Focus: Definition of Obstacles

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

~Henry Ford

(I need this quote hung in every room of my house!)

Keep those eyes focused, my friends!!!

Happy Friday!

You and me... and me and you...

So here we are. You. Me. Henry. My desk, a stack of journals, lousy illustrations by yours truly, stacks of paper scraps with chicken scratch all over them, and of course, one steaming hot cup of coffee (thanks, Lovemuffin!).

Now what?

I feel as though I'm in a three-ring (Or is it ringed?) circus. (If you'd like to picture me as the clown, fine. I wear a size ten shoe anyway so my feet being humacious is something I'm used to. But I will *not* wear that big red nose. Sorry. I have to draw the line somewhere.) I have this women's fic piece I've been working on, the second book that would come after FLORA (which may or may not even go anywhere so is it really smart to work on it all of the time? Obviously not. I'm not writing it, anyway, just jotting down ideas as they come.), and the WiP that came to me not that long ago, which I think is a pretty darn good idea if I do say so myself but will involve lots of thinking and brain wracking and hard work and well, I'm in lazy mode because it's the holidays and whatnot -- you know how that is, right?

So when I get into this mode of ideas crashing through my head, I go back and forth constantly from journal to journal, and not a whole lot of actual writing gets done. (Plot points? Yes. Dialogue? Once in a while. But word count? Nuh-uh.) When the day is done, I pretty much have nothing to show for it. Very frustrating.

I'm trying to decide which project to focus my energy on, but this deciding stuff is for the birds. Lovemuffin wants me to work on the shiny new (YA) WiP, instead of going back to the adult one. He's proud of the idea I've come up with -- him actually saying "Well I think you should work on such-and-such" is quite a big deal. But... I want to be lazy! (How dare I want something like that, right? Writer's can't be lazy! Hello, Jessica! What are you thinking?)

Ooh look. Donuts... on an eraser. Do you think it tastes like donuts?

To spell check, or not to spell check... there's no question

I had a great post idea for today, but this weekend was insanely busy, and my brain is mush. Therefore, I'm doing a switcheroo -- today's post is now what would have been Wednesday's, and Wednesday's will be the one I haven't begun to write yet. ;)

So... spell check, or no spell check? I say both, as long as you ultimately check everything yourself to make sure it's correct. Here's a great example showing how the spell check feature can be a crutch...

Eye halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques for my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it to say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
It's rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
Eye am shore your pleased two no
It's letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.

~Margo Roark

Friday Focus: Just Write

“You can sit there, tense and worried, freezing the creative energies, or you can start writing something. It doesn't matter what. In five or ten minutes, the imagination will heat, the tightness will fade, and a certain spirit and rhythm will take over.”

~ Leonard Bernstein

I thought this was pretty appropriate considering NaNoWriMo is over!

So in the words of Lady Gaga,

just write...

gonna be okay

da da doo-doo-mmmm

(Well, they're close to her words.)

Happy Friday!

Book Dominoes

I came across this video last week and had to share -- it's an ad for a bookstore in Arizona*.

*For a little more info, check out the post from GalleyCat, here.

My brilliance is beyond brilliant

I was ransacking going through my closet looking for Christmas bags (because Christmas is, you know, weeks away, and I need to know how many bags I still need to buy like, NOW) and I came up with this awesomely awesome and wonderful idea. Actually, I came up with a few awesomely awesome ideas. And the shock that rippled through my body as I realized just how brilliant I was -- I mean, we are talking BRILLIANT, people -- well, that shock just about did me in. I seriously could have been found by Lovemuffin, spread out on the closet floor, clutching an ugly Christmas bag and Scotch tape dispenser to my chest (it had a little bitty hole in it... I throw nothing away people... this has been passed down three generations... don't judge), that's how mind-blowing these ideas were.

Are you tired of waiting to hear about my awesomely awesome ideas? Well wait no further. Here they are, in no particular order. (Hold on to your seats. No not those... the chair, people... I meant the chair.)

Five wonderful books I am going to write:

1) My Pickled Life*: Chronicles Perry the pickle's life from seed plantage to pickage to being shoved into a bunch of vinegar and whatever else they use to turn cucumbers into pickles. It will be educational, and even hilarious at times ("Nooooo... vinegar stunts my growth! yelled poor Perry Pickle"). And best of all, with the magic of faster-than-ever publishing these days, the package will be out in time for Christmas with one (or maybe more than one!!!) of these nifty pickly gifts.

2) Attack of the Horn**: A cute, meaningful story about a unicorn named Foofie whose beautiful horn somehow dislodges itself from Foofie's head and tries to poke her in the eye. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry. And best of all, it will come with a strap-on one-size-fits-all-foreheads unicorn horn for the unicorn at heart.

3) Redundancy at a Glance: Saying the same thing over and over is *so* redundant, don't you think, right? So kick back and put up your feet and relax as you read Redundancy at a Glance. Things you never thought to think of will be sparking your interest, like these chapters, for example...

Eating cheese on a cold winter night that is freezing

Marshmallows are for hot cocoa and smores and for putting in between wedges of chocolate and graham crackers

I just said this and now I'll say it again

and

The best phrases to use *ever* (What? You'd like few examples? Well, sure! Try these out in talking conversations -- advance planning, same identical and free gift)

4) Noodles are so Noodly***: Inspired by my mother's phrase, "holding on like a wet noodle", Noodles are so Noodly is a compliation of photographs taken by yours truly showing the many things you can do with noodles (sorry, photos are copyrighted, or I would have posted them on here).

Here are a few examples to spike your interest:

Hair getting thin? Add a little bit o' noodles to that bare spot.****

Not sure what to stuff that Christmas turkey with because you're out of bread and crumbs and all that other stuff that goes into stuffing? Stuff him with noodles.

Out of cereal and the kids are screaming they're about to collapse from malnutrition? Give 'em noodles. (They won't even know the difference. I swear.)

Running low on icicles for the tree? Do not fear -- why not wrap your Christmas tree with noodles!? (Can we say beautiful, and yum?)

And last but not least...

5) How to Waste Time Writing Weird Blog Posts When You Should Be Writing Your Actual Book Instead***** (or, as I like to call it, HWTWWBPWYSBWYABI <--- much shorter).

Well what are you waiting for? Head over to your favorite bookstore and order these today! (And I will finish writing them... sometime in the very-near-possibly-soon-to-be future!)

*Slightly torn ugly Christmas gift bag optional for an additional $1.99.

**Inspired by Charlie the Unicorn. I don't know what makes this guy do what he does, but hopefully he never stops.
***Comes with three free noodles in the shape of your choice - elbow, pinwheel, long and skinny, or noodle
****Cooked, or dry. But if you use raw noodles, take care not to poke anyone in the eye.
*****No explanation available at the time of this post

A different kind of turkey

Imagine, if you will, that you're at a bowling alley.

You think you're a pretty good bowler, but the strikes are evading you.

At first, you don't think much of it. At least you're knocking the pins down, getting that occasional spare once in a while, right? You'll just try harder when your next turn comes around.

Now imagine that each set of bowling pins stands for something -- in my case, they'll stand for a query -- but they could be a job you're applying for, something you've been striving to do in your life, whatever.

You keep rolling the ball, trying to knock down the pins, attempting to get somewhere with those queries/job applications/et cetera. But those darn strikes... they refuse to materialize.

Now, disappointment starts to settle in. Within a short matter of time, that feeling goes from being a thin, hardly noticeable vapor of frustration, to the heaviest fog EVER.

But here's the thing.

Does the bowler attempt that first strike, use his second chance to do it again, then say, "Forget this, I quit" and walk out of the bowling alley?

Nope.

How about after a few frames? Does he quit then?

Not at all.

The game isn't over until ten frames have been played -- that's twenty chances to knock the pins over. So if each set of pins is a query, that's a decent amount of opportunities!

Maybe you knock down a few pins, but the results aren't what you were hoping for. One pin gets knocked down -- one response after carefully analyzing the "perfect" way to throw the ball. It's not a bite, not a positive reaction as you'd hoped, just a reaction.

Time for another frame.

And if none fall down, or they do, but they aren't what you're looking for (rejections, someone else hired for that position, et cetera), you do another one.

And another.

And another.

And... another.

You keep practicing, sending that bowling ball in the direction it needs to go.

And eventually, though it may not be as soon as you want, you'll get that strike -- that request, that job offer. Heck, you may even get more than one. Maybe you'll get three. A query turkey, so to speak.

**For a much better query analogy, check out Amy's post, In Which I Compare Querying to Toothpaste.